Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Two Hours!!

Well, there's only two hours left before you're out. I miss you so much. I sit here and I cry. I cry because you will finally be free, but I know this journey through hell has only just begun. I wish you were here to wipe my tears and tell me that everything will be okay. Lately I've been losing hope. I try not to, but it's really just so hard. I just want this all to be over. I want you back in my arms. I want to be a family again.

I have a lot of fears. I fear you not wanting to hold on. I fear you finding someone else because you can actually be with them. I fear so many things and I try to calm my fears, but it's hard.

I've been counting down the hours until you get out. I want you to have your freedom. I was just really looking forward to being able to see you tomorrow and now I don't even have that to look forward. I look forward to Kyler getting to see you and Devon too. It's just not fair. None of this is fair. I wish I could go back in time and figure out some other way to get through to you. I wish it never took any of this.

I just miss you. I'll keep holding on. I'll keep crying, but I'll keep holding on. I love you. I always have and I always will. Always and forever.

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-Nikki Layne