What Grinds My Gears: People Thinking DNA is Everything

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What really grinds my gears are people who seem to think DNA is everything. People seem to think that there must be DNA for someone to be a parent. I have lived on both sides of this coin, which is why it really grinds my gears.

I was raised by my father's side of the family and eventually lived with my dad and stepmom. Let me tell you how miserable I was! I was hated. I was the black sheep of the family. Everything I did was wrong. It was as if I could never do anything right. I went through a lot growing up. I couldn't wait until I could move out and be rid of them and their abuse. Of course I moved out at 17 and I gave them a couple chances after that only to find out they will always be who they always were. My last words to my father the last time I saw him when I was 22 were, "Don't contact me if you find out I have kids because you have to be a father to be a grandfather and you're no kind of father to me." These people are my own flesh and blood. The only thing we share is DNA. DNA is as close as we'll ever be. I do not talk to them anymore and I don't have the want to. They're toxic to me and will do nothing good by being in my life or my children's lives for that matter. I refuse to give them the opportunity to mess with their lives and heads the way they did to me.

Now on the other side of the coin, I have two sons. There's my Sweet Pea who is 18 months old and my Lil' Bean who is 1 month old today. DB is the biological father of my Sweet Pea. DB and I had some issues and we separated last summer. I ended up getting pregnant and when I was 4 months pregnant we got back together. The biological father of Lil' Bean wanted to pay me to have an abortion. I was pretty much begged, but I refused. I have beliefs and morals. A child is a blessing, not a choice like the sperm donor might like to think. In the end, I promised him his name would go nowhere. So, DB and I got back together and he was there for me during my pregnancy. He went to my dr's appointments and everything. DB is who my Lil' Bean will grow up to know as his daddy. They do not share DNA, but they don't have to. DB loves him just as much as he loves my Sweet Pea. In his eyes, they are both his.

So, as someone who has been on both sides of the coin with this; it really irritates me when people think DNA is all that matters. There's an age old saying that is so true. "Any man can father a child, but it takes someone special to be a daddy."