What Grinds My Gears: Illegal Immigrants

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What really grinds my gears are illegal immigrants and how much America is willing to give them at the cost of taxpayers. Illegal immigrants who come to the United States get a lot. They get a job, a driver's license, a roof over their head, medical benefits, housing benefits, benefits for their children, an education, a tax-free business for 7 years, and much more.

This only happens in the United States. If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 years of hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. Not in America. If you cross our borders, you get everything handed to you on a silver platter.

As an illegal alien, you can walk into any ER and get medical attention at the cost of taxpayers. They also get the opportunity to go to any school they wish for free. They don't have to do a thing. They don't have to pay a dime.

America hands all of this great stuff over to illegal immigrants, but when it comes to our own people that's a different story. I will be putting myself through school here shortly. I don't think it's fair that I will ultimately be putting myself into debt to go to school to better my life and better my children's lives, but an illegal immigrant gets handed an education at any school of their choice for free.

There are people in America with no jobs, food, shelter, etc. Yet, instead of America helping those people; we are helping out illegal immigrants. What about our own people? It is extremely hard to get any kind of assistance these days.

I became a single mom overnight because of a bad situation. DB has done everything he can to better himself now, but I am still basically a single mom for intents and purposes for at least another couple of months. When everything happened, I literally went from depending on his paychecks to not knowing what I was going to do. I needed help paying my water bill when everything first happened and I basically got ridiculed for it. I got asked if this was going to be an all the time thing. I got the assistance with the water bill too late and my landlords ultimately ended up helping me out instead. I still owe them $100 for helping me out. What if they couldn't help me out and I was without water with a 16 month old at the time? I felt like nobody cared.

Realizing how much help these illegal immigrants get and how little help I have gotten infuriates me. I am now a single mom of two little boys. I work very hard every day to make ends meet. The end of the month/beginning of the next month are always the hardest. Yet, I always seem to make ends meet. I just wish less of our taxpayers dollars were going towards helping illegal immigrants and were instead going towards our own people, our own country. This country is in so much debt and then we wonder why.

What Grinds My Gears: People Who Judge My Every Move

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What grinds my gears are people who judge my every move. I mean, this is my life. Therefore, I am living it for me. I can't stand when people seem to think they have the right to judge me. The only one with the ability to judge me is God. So, I may do things that people may not think is right or good for me. However, you are not me. Nobody else knows what is best for me.

Now, I can understand people just being caring individuals and wanting to make sure I'm making the right decisions. That is completely different. For those people, I want you to know that I am. Things are honestly going well and I'm not running blind this time. I evaluate my every decision. I think about everything. I bounce ideas off of people. I communicate a lot more. If the red flags go up, I walk away. It's as simple as that.

I just can't stand people who think they can control my life. If you think I don't know you're talking about me as you're judging everything I'm doing, you're wrong. I'm not stupid. I wasn't born yesterday. We all do things that outsiders may not understand. However, that doesn't give anyone the right to judge anyone for the things they do. In reality, only God can judge me. You are not God.

Writing Dilemma

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I have been trying to write a short story for the past two days now and nothing is coming out right. I hate when this happens. I have two half-written stories and I don't like either of them. That's why they're unfinished and they'll more than likely stay that way. I really want to write a story and I have so many idea, but I think the two ideas I was attempting to work with were incomplete ideas. So, that made it hard for me to write. I am hoping that maybe today I might be able to write a story worth writing.

In It To Win It: Prince Lionheart BoosterPOD

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As I posted in one of my previous blogs, I have been entering a lot of giveaways. One giveaway I just entered is the Prince Lionheart BoosterPOD giveaway, which was posted by Familylicious. I am really hoping I can win this for my Sweet Pea, He's 18 months old now and is always looking to be a big boy. When he is at DB's grandma's, he is still put in a highchair. I have him in a booster seat here. I would like to be able to win this so he has a big boy seat in both locations. The review that was posted along with the giveaway really makes it sound like a really good booster seat. I love the color options. I think I would want either the green and brown or the blue and brown. Anything but pink if I can help it since I have two boys. So, here's to hoping I can win this.

What Grinds My Gears: People Thinking DNA is Everything

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What really grinds my gears are people who seem to think DNA is everything. People seem to think that there must be DNA for someone to be a parent. I have lived on both sides of this coin, which is why it really grinds my gears.

I was raised by my father's side of the family and eventually lived with my dad and stepmom. Let me tell you how miserable I was! I was hated. I was the black sheep of the family. Everything I did was wrong. It was as if I could never do anything right. I went through a lot growing up. I couldn't wait until I could move out and be rid of them and their abuse. Of course I moved out at 17 and I gave them a couple chances after that only to find out they will always be who they always were. My last words to my father the last time I saw him when I was 22 were, "Don't contact me if you find out I have kids because you have to be a father to be a grandfather and you're no kind of father to me." These people are my own flesh and blood. The only thing we share is DNA. DNA is as close as we'll ever be. I do not talk to them anymore and I don't have the want to. They're toxic to me and will do nothing good by being in my life or my children's lives for that matter. I refuse to give them the opportunity to mess with their lives and heads the way they did to me.

Now on the other side of the coin, I have two sons. There's my Sweet Pea who is 18 months old and my Lil' Bean who is 1 month old today. DB is the biological father of my Sweet Pea. DB and I had some issues and we separated last summer. I ended up getting pregnant and when I was 4 months pregnant we got back together. The biological father of Lil' Bean wanted to pay me to have an abortion. I was pretty much begged, but I refused. I have beliefs and morals. A child is a blessing, not a choice like the sperm donor might like to think. In the end, I promised him his name would go nowhere. So, DB and I got back together and he was there for me during my pregnancy. He went to my dr's appointments and everything. DB is who my Lil' Bean will grow up to know as his daddy. They do not share DNA, but they don't have to. DB loves him just as much as he loves my Sweet Pea. In his eyes, they are both his.

So, as someone who has been on both sides of the coin with this; it really irritates me when people think DNA is all that matters. There's an age old saying that is so true. "Any man can father a child, but it takes someone special to be a daddy."

Twinkies, Serial Killers, and Strange Squirrels

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So, last night I could sleep for anything. I am surprised I wasn't dragging today. It was beautiful outside. So, I took the Lil' Bean for a walk and we went grocery shopping. DB had Sweet Pea, so it was nice to not have so much weight in the double stroller. I struggle with it quite a bit. I'm still getting used to it. I just realized today that I've been using it with the front wheels locked. This explained why I had so much difficulty turning haha!

I know I just had my Lil' Bean a month ago (I can't believe he's a month old already!), but I have really been getting on myself about my appearance. I was a size 0 very thin girl prior to having kids. Prior to having my Lil' Bean, I was a size 1 or 3 depending on the brand. I was still thin. With everything I have going on this summer, I feel like I really need to get in shape and lose my baby weight. Not only do I want to lose pounds, but I also would like to trim my stomach, waist, and thighs. So, I have decided to start eating healthy. I am going to cut back on my soda and cut twinkies down a lot. I have a serious twinkie addiction. I bought a lot of different vegetables today, wheat bread, etc. I am really hoping this will help. I'd like to find an actual diet, but I decided to go shopping on a spur of the moment. With the weather being so rainy, I didn't want to end up stuck out in the rain. So, maybe before I go shopping next time I can find a good diet.

Now, I live really close to Walmart. So, Lil' Bean and I walked. Well, I am a super paranoid person. This really creepy, serial killer looking guy was walking about 30 feet behind me. I freaked. I have to walk up a semi-steep hill to get home. Let me tell you, I don't think I have ever walked up that hill so fast in my life! I am extremely paranoid. I watch too much television I think. CSI, Bones, Criminal Minds, and Law & Order are some of my favorite shows to watch. I think they get to my head sometimes, though. Luckily, he ended up crossing over the train tracks when I had to keep going straight. That was a sigh of relief for sure!

Has anyone ever seen a black squirrel with a red tail before? I know I sure haven't! Well, that was until today. Growing up, I only saw grey squirrels. Since moving to Ohio, I have now seen black squirrels as well. However, I have never seen a black squirrel with a red tail. On my way home from Walmart (after losing the serial killer), I saw one. I had to stop and try to take a picture. Of course the squirrel must have known because he scurried up the tree as quickly as he could. I tried, though.

Nauseous? Hungry? Oh no...

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I know, I know...I only had my c-section a month ago. I know I'm not supposed to be having sex for another two weeks. I guess I've just never been one to follow a doctor's orders. I feel fine. I've felt fine. Well, with the exception of the possible tool they may have left inside of me that I'll find out about in the morning.

Well, earlier tonight I was feeling really nauseous. I never got sick thankfully, but I did clean my bathroom haha! When I feel sick I hate feeling like the toilet is dirty. So, after I realized I wasn't going to be sick; I cleaned the toilet first and then the rest of the bathroom. Weird, I know. I never said I was normal!

I know I have nobody to blame but myself if I am pregnant. I just hope I'm not pregnant right now. I have an 18 month old and a 1 month old. If I'm pregnant, I will have a 27 month old, a 10 month old, and a newborn. Am I nuts?

I had this plan to go on birth control when I'm 6 weeks postpartum, which is in 2 more weeks. The birth control method everyone recommends, we tried. It was just a big, fat FAIL on my part.

I just really hope I'm not pregnant. I have a lot to look forward over the next year or so. It was my plan to start a diet and an exercise routine to get in shape and tone up.

So, I guess here's to praying that I'm not pregnant. It will grow on me if I am. It's just not ideal right now. I wanted to wait 3 years before having another baby. I wanted to have pairs. I have my pair close together right now with my Sweet Pea and Lil' Bean. I would like to wait 3 years and then have another pair close together and then shut down the baby factory. So, here's to hoping for the best.

Lil' Bean had his 1st complaint-free bath!

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Since Lil' Bean was born he has hated bath time. This included his sponge baths. Well, we haven't done a sponge bath since he was two weeks old because his weewee was healed and his umbilical cord had fallen off. How I do bath time with him is I give him a bath with me, but it's not my bath time; it's his. I hold him in lukewarm water  and take his washcloth to wet him and then lather him up and rinse. I try to be quick about it because usually he is crying. He has been like that since he was born for some reason.

Well, not tonight. Tonight he was quiet and happy during his bath. I'm not sure what was different about tonight. Honestly, I don't think anything was different. Same time, same routine, same everything. I'm definitely not complaining. I hope he starts enjoying more baths. Lord knows I enjoy a relaxing bath. Heck, he just has to lay there. I do all the work!

He always loves his baby massage I give him after his bath. I always put lotion all over before getting him dressed and to bed. He seems to love that. Well, I also recently got this stuff called Badger Balm Night Night Balm. It's lavender scented and it really calms Lil' Bean and gets him right to sleep. It works like a dream! So, if your little one has trouble with bedtime, I would totally recommend giving that stuff a shot. You can find it on the Diapers.com website. If you order from the Diapers.com website, be sure to enter the code CXLE3246 so you can save some money! 

He was all relaxed and ready for bed. He's my sweet Lil' Bean. I am so thankful for him every day. I really and truly can't picture my life without him now. He is such a blessing. Anyone who knows me knows what I went through during my pregnancy. I struggled with attachment issues and all of that. It seems like now I'm making up for all of that. He is my little blessing #2. With Sweet Pea being so attached to me and me being so attached to him, I wasn't sure how I'd handle having another. I think I've done well. I love my boys and truly could not imagine my life without either of them. They are my pride and joy.

Sometimes we have to take risks

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Sometimes in life we get afraid of the risks we may be faced with. I know I am guilty of getting scared, sometimes too scared, and I just shut myself off to the idea of taking that risk. What I am trying to get myself to realize is that if it's not a life-threatening risk, that maybe it's worth a shot. If nobody can die from the risk, sometimes I need to welcome these risks.

I do all of my work as an online contractor. I am able to support my home (for the most part) based on my income. DB has recently shown an interest in doing the same thing. For some reason, I got really scared by this. I started thinking it was a bad idea. I kept thinking what if he didn't apply himself or what if he couldn't find contracts. I came up with all these reasons as to why it was a bad idea.

Not once did I think about the possible good outcomes. I mean, if he can get work on oDesk, then he will be making more than he's making now since he doesn't have a job currently. That's a huge plus. He would still be able to take part in everything he's currently doing as well as work from home. When we do live together (we're not right now), this could be a great benefit for the kids always having both parents around. I would have his help and he would have mine.

I am able to see the possible benefits, but I do still have my fears. I worry about what if him and I get sick of each other if we're both around each other constantly and never get a break. I don't want us to argue from being around each other 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I do love him. I just don't want us to become overwhelmed with never getting a break.

I also worry about him getting fed up when the pay isn't that great. oDesk is by far not somewhere you will get rich. I have written 500 word articles for $1.50 each and I've written 500 word articles for $10.00 each. It all depends on the employer. I take on the low rates when I am in a tight spot and have bills I have to pay. I understand that every dollar counts.

I guess I'm just not sure where his head is at as far as working as an online contractor is. He always says he hates me working so much. So, I know he wants to take some weight off of my shoulders and I appreciate that. I just really hope that if he works as an online contractor that he sticks with it.

Working from home as an online contractor is truly rewarding for me and it can be just as rewarding for him. I get to be home with my babies every day. I don't miss anything. I worked very briefly outside of the home when Sweet Pea was 5 months old until he was 8 months old and very very briefly when he was a year old. I hated it. I hated being away from him. Now that I have two I don't get a lot of 1:1 time with either of them. So, working from home makes it so when Lil' Bean is sleeping I can have some 1:1 time with Sweet Pea and vice versa. I might miss those opportunities if I didn't work from home.

So, seeing how this can be a positive thing; I must let go of my fears. I need to at least give DB a chance and not be so scared all the time. So, here's to giving him a chance. I love him and I believe in him. I do. I just worry too much for my own good sometimes. It's part of who I am I guess.

Wordful Wednesday - 04/27/2011

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He is getting too big for his own good! I can't believe he's 18 months already. He looks sooo cute in his big kid clothes he got for Easter. He loves music, so the guitars on his shirt are certainly fitting.

My Lil' Bean seems to really love his red bear he got for Easter. He is such a snuggler whether it's with me or his new bear. I thought this was too cute not to take a picture of. I can't believe he'll be 1 month old tomorrow!

All Done...I think...

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Well, tonight I spent many hours working on my blog from design to coding and adding all kinds of funky stuff. I think it's finally done. Of course I can't take credit for my background. That credit goes to Shabby Blogs. All of the other graphics I did make, but with the purchase of some cute vectors and alphabets from Lettering Delights. My signature I made using My Live Signature.

As far as coding help and other tips go, I truly can't thank Sneaky Momma enough! I found pretty much everything I could ever want to know how to do on her site. I also got some minor help from Digital Inspiration.

I am sure I'll add other random things here and there from time to time, but for now I believe my blog is done and ready to go live. I've been posting without a pretty look to it, but now that it looks pretty I can really step it up.

And now it's Zzz...

What Grinds My Gears: People Without a Brain

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So, I am an Family Guy fanatic. There's an episode where Peter is a news reporter and does a segment on what grinds his gears. I have decided to adapt this into my blog. Anything that grinds my gears will get posted using this idea.

One thing that really grinds my gears are people without a brain! We were all given one...or so I thought. Have people become so lazy that they don't want to use their brains to find the information they need or want to find? Google is a multi-million dollar search engine for a reason; use it! It's like people just want the answers handed to them on a silver platter. If you want to know something, sometimes you have to put in some effort to find it. Half the time these people have the answer right in front of them and yet they still have this deer in headlights look on their face. I don't get it. Learn to read! The English language is not that difficult to comprehend. I think some people need some steps put into action so they can stop frustrating us more intelligent people!

Step 1: Stop being lazy.

Step 2: Google what you want to find.

Step 3: Read.

If you take these three steps, then in time you will no longer be classified as someone without a brain.

WHO texted you WHAT?!

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I enjoy my daily doses of humor. Earlier this afternoon I was looking for my humor on Texts From Last Night. Well, I found one that said: (304): Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps? http://tfl.nu/jolf. So, I started texting DB about this.

Me: Hahaha texts from last night...do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
DB: Umm what?
Me: It's texts from last night.
DB: Texts from who?
Me: Omg it's a website called texts from last night...I'm sure there's an app on your phone for it.
DB: Don't get mad at me for asking, please.
Me: I'm not...I'm laughing at you.
DB: Oh ok. I misunderstood the "omg." I'm sorry.
Me: It's ok. I am totally laughing at you tho.

So, apparently conversations with DB about TFLN are even more humorous than TFLN! I just thought I'd share the humor. It made my day!

zero motivation

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Today I really need to be working my butt off, but I have no motivation. It's not like it's hard work. I know I'll feel better once it's done. I'll feel even better when I get paid and can pay my bills and my Lil' Bean and Sweet Pea what they need. However, a lot of the time I would much rather snuggle my babies than work.

However, I know that the sooner I finish my work for the day the sooner I can snuggle my babies and do whatever I want. This is the one issue from working from home. I don't have anyone telling me to work and giving me deadlines and such. I am always told to just get it done when I can. I love having such an understanding employer, but it doesn't help me in times like these.







In the words of Gretchen Wilson, "work hard, play harder!"

10 things I need to be happy

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As Americans, many of us think we need all of these materialistic things to be happy when in reality materialistic things will not buy us happiness. I know this. My ex-husband gave me full control of the money and I had the ability to get pretty much anything I wanted. However, all of that just filled the void which was the fact that I was in a marriage with no love. I didn't love him and I never felt like he loved me. It was a bad choice I made soon after high school. When DB buys me nice things now I am very appreciative. However, I don't need those things to be happy. It's his love I need. I really started thinking about what I need to be happy and have compiled a list of ten things I need to be happy.

1. My kids
2. Love
3. A few true friends
4. Food
5. A roof over my head
6. The ability to supply what my kids need
7. Creativity
8. Anything I can read and learn from
9. Hope
10. A computer with internet access and a word processor

maybe...

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So, maybe it's just me who would much rather stay home and enjoy my children and the family I've created than anything else. Bars and parties and all of that is all just a thing of the past. Maybe a movie night from time to time wouldn't hurt, but I don't trust many people with my kids. DB always has the idea to leave the kids with his family, which sometimes I'm okay with. However, in reality I do not trust his family for many different reasons. I especially wouldn't trust them with my newborn.

For me, going on vacation without the kids just won't happen. Maybe when they're much older and can fend for themselves. I would honestly just rather spend time with them, go on vacations with them. I feel like I was put here to be a mom. So, I do it with pleasure.

So, then I wonder when DB gets upset if maybe things were done backwards. Maybe we should have waited to have kids. Maybe we should have done all the things he wanted to do first before having kids. I do not ever regret having kids. I enjoy my life. However, sometimes I feel like he wishes we waited or something. Our first child was completely planned. Our second was not. Sometimes I feel like I messed up, like I failed DB. I only want him to be happy, but sometimes when we get into these conversations I feel like I'm holding him back from what he wanted to do with his life. Maybe I did ruin his life...

In It To Win In: Barney Play Date 3 DVD Set

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So, I've never really been a giveaway person. I came across them all the time on various sites, but I never entered them. Why? Well, I always thought they were a scam and that I'd have to do this offer and that offer an pay x amount of money. Basically, I thought it would be a lot of trouble. Well, today I got into a conversation with two of my friends who are giveaway junkies. They're always entering and today they both told me how they have actually won stuff. They don't pay for anything, not even shipping. I was amazed and definitely interested. So, they pointed me in the right direction. I looked around and there was a lot I could see myself enjoying if I actually won.

After looking around for a while, I finally entered my first giveaway. It was for the Barney Play Date 3 DVD Set. I thought my Sweet Pea would certainly enjoy it. So, I tried my hand in entering. I know he would love it because he loves Barney. He gets so excited when he hears the opening song on TV. I'm really hoping I win, but if not there will always be more.

If you have a toddler who loves Barney, maybe you should try your hand in entering the give away. It's being hosted by a mom blogger by the name of Melanie. She seems to be very kind-hearted and genuine. So, if nothing else; check out her blog 2 Boys + 1 Girl = One Crazy Mom. And if you want to enter her giveaway for the Barney Play Date 3 DVD Set, follow this link.

$60/hr?!

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So, I just made $60 for 2 hours of work! I have never worked that fast before! I am very proud of myself to say the least. Since Lil' Bean was born I have kind of procrastinated in the work department. Luckily, the main employer I work for is very lenient and understanding of the fact that I just had a baby.

Well, tonight (or early morning...however you want to look at it) I finally say down and pumped out all of the priority articles he needed done. It only took me two hours. I was a little upset I hadn't done them sooner as it didn't take me as long as I had thought it would. It's been three weeks since I've actually worked, so I guess I forgot how good I am at researching and writing up my articles.

I am just happy I finally got them done. Now, I am going to make it my goal to sit down for 2 hours every night and work. Even if I don't complete an entire batch in 2 hours, that's still time towards completing a batch. If I have more time to dedicate to work, then I'll put in that extra time.

Having Lil' Bean has really made it hard for me to want to work. I either want to spend my time playing with Sweet Pea or holding Lil' Bean. It's really hard being a mom sometimes because you just want to spend all of your time with your kids. However, I need to keep in mind that if I don't do my work that my kids don't eat, have a house, etc. There are bills to pay for sure.

So, I'm sure many of you are wondering what it is I did to earn $60 in 2 hours. It's not a scam. I am an online contractor. The current contract I'm on isn't on any website. However, if you'd like to get started with online contracting there are many different websites you can check out. I started on oDesk. I also have profiles on vWorker and Guru. If you need any help, let me know and I will do my best to assist you where I can.

Mommies ♥ Always ♥ Write??

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Am I really that self-centered to honestly believe that I, as the mommie, am always right? No. Do, I really have that much of a lack of education where I spell not one, but two words wrong in the title of my blog? No. So, why this title you may ask...

For one, Mommy's Always Write was taken as a blogger address and that's what I am starting this as. Once I get some readers I will migrate to a .com site. I want to gain some basis before I put forth the money to register a domain. I mean, if I go nowhere with this and I put out the $10 or whatever the price may be to register a domain then I am out $10 with no gain.

My reason for misuse of 'write' is simple. I am not just a mommie, but a writer as well. So, I wanted to be able to incorporate the two and have a little bit of fun with my title. I think that Mommies ♥ Always ♥ Write is a catchy title and I hope that anyone else who comes across my blog will agree.

So, that's my story on the title of my blog. I hope than people will come back frequently to read my posts. I love this technological era we are in. My grandmother in Connecticut can read my blog and so can my mother in Texas and my friends in New Mexico, Washington, and North Carolina. No matter where someone may be, they can keep up to date on my blog.